For anne. I’m always home because of your voice.

For my family, and our stories.

And for cloudturners.

Keeping the House by Tice Cin @ Bookshop

Quotes

At seventy-six, she began to hallucinate, often after a particular sound or smell. A bowl of fasulye would transform from beans into mud that she would sift through, looking for someone. The sound of the ceramic, scraped by cutlery, played on Ayla’s ears until she took the bowl away. When she became listless and wouldn’t eat, she was spoon-fed.

We tried to talk it out. Ease the missing with his own memories. He ironed out all his references to her, prefacing them with the words, ‘God rest the dead in the living and the looking I copied him, trying not to let the words divorce from their meaning while at the same time lost in the idea that the restlessly dead are looking at us through mirrors. He spoke, too, about the dead looking back at him. He became increasingly aware of his reflection. Our relationship moved into another phase, where he did solidly good things and I did good things back.

There are certain types of needs that make a repetition of you. I had become one of many because of looking for too long.